From the Conference Board Review, “A Magazine of ideas and Opinion”  Jan/Feb 07 Fellow coach Marshall Goldsmith (author/co-author of 22 books, including most recently What Got You Here Won’t Get You  There) writes an article on The Success Delusion.

  Goldsmith begins with the success delusion, and how it becomes engrained by positive reinforcement: “I behave this way.  I am successful.  Therefore, I must be successful because I behave this way.  Wrong.” (27) “But while our self-confident delusions can help us achieve, they can make it difficult for us to change.” (28)  “Our excessive optimism and resulting over-commitment can be as serious an obstacle to change as our denial of negative feedback or our belief that our flaws are actually the cause of our success.” (30)  He refers to “drowning in a sea of opportunity”.  Goldsmith gives the example of a leader that did not have the heart to say no.  “As a result, he promised more than even the most dedicated staff could deliver.  His biggest challenge as a leader was not letting his personal optimism lead to staff burnout, turnover, and missed commitments.”

“How can you achieve positive change?  Get in the habit of asking the key people in your life how you can improve.  Recruit them in helping you get from where you are (which may be a pretty great place) to where you want to be (which can be even better)….Face the reality that you are likely to change only what you choose to change-and that the motivation and commitment to change must come from inside you….Finally, watch out for over-commitment…Realize that your natural inclination will be to think that you can do more than you actually will do.” (31)

Jeanne Drisko, MD, in the department of integrative medicine at the University of Kansas Medical Center, has prescribed going out to Colorado and taking a full day off from work each week (as well as supplements).   Her prescriptions reinforce practicing my own renewal principles (this came after I had already taken a whole Sunday off)  and is now in my Outlook calendar as a recurring appointment.  A coaching client I started with recently was attacking play/balance like a work goal.  A big win for her was deciding to slow down and be more playful about it, and included staying home a day when she did not feel well.  "My work with Marilyn has brought big dividends to me in the way of energy, focus, and creativity that have spilled into every aspect of my personal and professional life," says another client, a leader. "What a joy to finally understand in a deep way that caring for myself and dedication to work and family are not mutually exclusive!" she continues.