How do you use your “magic” to determine whether you experience a nightmare or honeymoon? Have this past few years been a nightmare or more like a honeymoon for you? Many of my leadership, team and mentor coaching clients and I first experienced the pandemic and reactions to protests like a nightmare, concerned about family and friends staying healthy, what would happen to our nation, our economy, the planet, our businesses and organizations; experiencing social isolation (my introvert friends experienced that as a honeymoon!) plus the wearing of face masks when we had to venture out at first appeared nightmarish.

As I let go of “normal” and adjusted to this new landscape, I was reminded of stepping out of my usual schedule, routine and environment for my three months in Asia Pacific, also a time of uncertainty about new experiences as I traveled alone to new countries. Thankfully in recent years I have experienced a sense of contentment and even joy in spending more time by myself, with God and nature, as I did in Asia Pacific, not returning to my up to multiple engagements in one evening pre-pandemic schedule. I have spent more time outside, both to socialize where it was safe, as well as in my hammock. Others have discovered cooking, gardening, the joys (and sometimes strains) of increased time at home with family.

The leaders and teams I coach, concerned about how to stay connected in a supportive way while working virtually, discovered they connected and appreciated each other with new perspectives after seeing children and pets move through the background of their Zooms. Before flashing back to Bali where I felt like I was on a honeymoon, I offer two ways how to use your “magic” to make this perspective shift.

1. Centering (how to video and text): you’ve heard me talk about it before, how I practice it multiple times daily. Doing so creates an easily accessible resourceful, creative, focused state you can quickly shift into when you feel triggered, anxious, or fearful; or simply to stay focused. It came in especially helpful on that Asia Pacific journey in situations that felt like they could become nightmarish, when:

• The Indonesian dentist told me I needed a root canal and they needed to clear out the infection-without painkillers!
• My daughter Amelia and I boarded a rusting out ferry after one had recently capsized (300 deaths)
• Traveling Air Malaysia after their two recently downed planes (537 deaths).

Yes, you really can take a minute of breathing, subtle movements and accessing your “magic” superpowers to literally clear your brain and return to a positive, focused state! My leadership and team coaching clients, particularly UN leaders, appreciate and practice this too, experiencing the weight of their decision-making dropping off their shoulders. As well as our Culturally Intelligent Mentor Coaching + Certificate program participants, starting with the uncertainty and sometimes anxiety they have over passing ICF performance assessments and how to explore their clients’ cultural identities and impact; moving to confidence, including how to dialogue with clients regarding their cultural identities and perspectives.

Victor Frankl discovered his mind and spirit, his freedom to choose perspectives, could not be taken from him while in a concentration camp.

2.”Do you know how to use your magical powers?”  (By flipping your perspective!) Tatyana Krimgold, Culturally Intelligent Mentor Coaching alumni, asked on Linkedin. She had just seen the movie About Time, (I quote her LI post) “where all the lead, Tim, has to do to travel in time is get in a dark place, close his eyes, clench his fists, and imagine the moment he wants to go to… And presto – he’s there. A lightbulb went off – Hey! That’s just like the magic we really can do! … it’s not the circumstances that create your experience but your interpretation of them. Whether a “horrible” traffic jam or a chance to listen to your favorite podcast, the interpretation we choose leads to how we feel & what we do or don’t do in our lives…  But we can change our interpretation – and our lives – as easily as Tim’s time-travels. Let’s do it now! 1) Close your eyes & recognize a stressful interpretation 2) Clench your fists & with a deep breath, release them, along with the interpretation & the stress 3) Imagine a new view that uplifts you & how that’ll affect your life Presto – Where are you now?” Tatyana.

From my 2014 blog: Couples honeymoon here in Bali. I feel like I am on a honeymoon with myself, God, and nature! This 3 month Asia Pacific journey includes times of intense training, sightseeing, and presenting; as well as time for coaching and renewal. After my week of intense sightseeing with my daughter Amelia, (who is making good progress on her “300 Top Sights in the World” list) followed by two packed weeks of  (providing the ICF coaching competency perspective for) Peter Wrysza’s Advanced Diploma in Deep Transformational Coaching, all in Bali, Indonesia, I stayed on at Nirata for renewal (and “catching up and moving ahead” time) while continuing to coach. My traveling “alone” over the years has mostly consisted of traveling to be with friends and family or to attend conferences, where I am surrounded by colleagues. (Photo: My coaching colleagues in Bali singing Happy Birthday to me in Russian) It had been 11 years since my last solo journey, also to Asia Pacific (to teach Organizational Behavior and International Business in Hong Kong and Malaysia), and I was not really sure what to expect. To my delight, I have discovered not only new international companions, but also treasured time simply “being” with myself, God, and the beautiful, lush Balinese nature. I am so thankful and privileged to to have this abundant time for all: catching up with coaching clients (and new clients!) and my business, shopping for gifts for family, exploring the hills and rice fields of Sideman; as well my precious quiet reflective time.

Planting future vision seeds

I know this honeymoon renewal time provides the fertile ground for future vision seeds’ planting and flourishing. I lead programs on Renewing Your Vision and Spirit, and have published a Renewing Your Spirit workbook! I am “practicing what I preach”. In case you missed the Untethering for the Journey blog series, I believe the letting go of additional responsibilities and expectations paved the way for this miraculous, magical journey. What seeds are you planting, and how will you ensure they flourish? What are you doing to “honeymoon” and renew?

To unlocking your and all full potential, prosperity and peace,

Marilyn O’Hearne, MSW, MCC, LLC; CQ MCC